The Hired Gun
by VLBoone
Summary: A year after The Institute has been destroyed, MacCready's settled down to help out Nate's main settlement. Life in The Commonwealth has become slow, and Mac is feeling unfulfilled - alone and empty. All Mac can think to do to repay Nate for saving Duncan's life is working day after day guarding the Starlight Drive-In. Until one day, MacCready's wishes all come to fruition.
1. The New Normal

It's been almost a year now. For almost a year I've been here, at this settlement helping out Nate. It's boring as hell but hey, I've got good company, steady income and a little place of my own here. Sometimes he's nice enough to let me tag along, heh. Nate never fails to get himself into something, and believe me, from experience - it's always a good time.  
This guard post will be the end of me. I stand here all day, nothing ever happens. Every once in a while a few mutants and raiders try and come in but it's never a challenge.  
Nothing fulfills me anymore. I just try to think about the caps and Duncan. I'll kill myself if I think too hard about him, but it's all for him. I can't complain. I just wish it was more exciting around here is all.  
That Vault-Tec ghoul mans a trading post, Curie runs the medic station. Deacon, Cait, and a few bots keep crops healthy and growing, and Longfellow runs an armor stand. I'm not sure what everyone else does. The longer I'm here the more I keep to myself. I'm pretty certain Piper, Hancock and Danse got off easy - for now at least. Once we get more people looking for a job and a place to call home, more jobs'll open up to keep the place running.  
"Mac Ree Dee," I turn around, "it is my turn, you go. Strong watch for enemies". I was so lost in thought I didn't even notice the sun falling. See? Boring as Hell around these parts. A few days out of the week, Strong keeps guard overnight - the other nights Nate'll have one of the bots do it. Strong is probably best suited to guard the old Starlight Drive-in, people think twice about trying to come in unwelcome when they see a super mutant at the door. I'm pretty confident in the fact he enjoys it, too.  
"All right, buddy. Keep us all safe". I wish him a good night.  
Before I head to the little shack that is home, I stop at the bar Nate set up. It's a nice place smack dab in the middle of where all the cars used to park. I go in, share a couple of drinks and a few smokes with Hancock and Cait, usually listen to a new story he's got to tell. I know it's time to turn in when she starts to slur her words into one another, because that girl can drink any man under the table.  
"Aye Mac when you gonna find yerself a lady? Maybe ya won't be so goddamn mopey once you got a pretty lady to keep ya warm at night in this shitehole". I'm sure everyone knows by now about Lucy. The only people who I've told myself are Nate and Hancock, but when you're in a tiny settlement living with these people day in and day out, I guess you've gotta find something to talk about. It's a topic that's never discussed and people know to keep it that way - except for an inebriated Cait, I guess.  
I ignore her suggestion but I can see Hancock staring at her, disappointed. I know he'll give it to her once I walk out the door. Guy's had my back since day one.  
"Well, I think it's time I head to bed," I smile halfheartedly, get up from the makeshift table and turn my old stained cup upside down.  
"See you all bright and early". Cait says nothing, just keeps drinking her drink, unaware of the little nerve she had struck. I knew she didn't really mean it like that. Hancock gives a nod, and I leave the bar.  
Lying on my mattress on the floor I stare through the gap in the ceiling at the stars, thinking about what Cait said. Mopey. I WAS mopey. In this place, around all these people, I am still lonely. I'm still goddamn lonely. I realize, I'm not so sensitive anymore about Lucy - I realize in this moment, I have moved on. Up to several months ago if Cait said that then, there would have been one hell of a fight in that crappy bar. I still mourn her, my wife, the mother of my child for Christ sakes but I'm not sad about it anymore. In this moment, I can literally feel this weight coming off of my chest. I feel liberated. Liberated but still sad. I think I'm just sad because I'm alone. Mopey. The word doesn't leave my head - it's a scab you can't help but pick. A cut on the roof of your mouth you can't help but tongue at nonstop. Christ, I'm letting this keep me awake.  
I thought I was hiding it well but if she notices it, everyone does. The only person I talk to, I confide in, I trust - is Nate. I consider that guy my best friend, but he's never around. I still don't know what I'll ever do to repay him for what he did for me. He helped save my son's life. How can you repay someone for that?  
But Nate's a busy guy - I'm looking forward to when he comes to bring supplies, at least then I'll have five minutes to talk to a friend, to get this crap off my chest. I try to think of Duncan's smile and drift off to sleep


	2. Have Fun

"Hey! MacCready!" Piper's shrill voice is coming from the other side of my door. I groan in response. "Get up, kid. Strong's heading to sleep". I get up, get dressed, grab my guns and head out into the morning sun. Another day, waiting for something, damn it, anything to happen.  
"Can someone else wake me up from now on?" I ask her, rubbing the sand from my eyes.  
"What's wrong with my wake up call? I brought you breakfast". She hands me a Nuka Cola and a half eaten box of Sugar Bombs.  
"Alright, you can keep waking me up as long as you've got Nuka Cola for me, but I don't eat that crap". I light a cigarette, thank her and walk over to my post.  
"I'll bring you some later, have fun today" she calls to me. Was that a joke? It had to have been. Have fun. If it was a joke, it was a good one because upon hearing it I let out a loud chuckle. If it wasn't, well, that chick's got her head so high in the clouds she's surpassed Hancock.

Hours pass. A scav comes through, just looking for some screws and asbestos.  
A couple more hours pass. I saw a small pack of Raiders eyeballing us from afar - though they went with their instincts and stayed away. I almost wished they'd try to come in.  
More time goes by, I've counted 3 Radstags passing.  
The sun starts to set and I start to pack up my ammo and the rest of my gear, ready for one of Nate's Assaultrons to come take my spot.

Just as the bot takes up for it's shift I start to head to my little house to put my things away before I begin my after-work ritual of drinking and smoking with friends, forgetting about this void in my life and wishing I could go back 12 years. Everything was so simple in the Capital Wasteland, those were the best years of my life. I wish I never had to grow up. I wish that every second of my life. That goddamn cavern was my sanctuary, my family. I have to stop thinking, it just makes it worse.

Then I hear a scream.  
Immediately I turn back around and remember, the day isn't over - Piper told me to have fun, didn't she?  
I drop all of my gear except for my weapon, turn the safety off my rifle and run back to the entrance of the drive in. I step out of the doorway for the first time in probably four months.  
I hear the scream again, followed by cries for help coming closer, faster.  
I step out farther, adrenaline hasn't coursed through my veins in such a long time.

Then I feel it.  
I feel the ground shaking.  
Looking at the ground pebbles and rocks shaking from force.  
In that moment, I know. I know there isn't much time.  
I run back inside as fast as I can, screaming "BEHEMOTH".  
I've only faced a Behemoth once, traveling with Nate - I had never been so afraid in my entire life. To this day I lie to him and say that I fell back, throwing all the grenades I had. Sure, I threw some. Until it got closer, and I hid. I sound like a kid, if it makes me less of a man so be it. But I ran as far as I could without getting too far from Nate and I hid. I was staring at certain death. It was right in front of me.

Danse was already to the roof of the drive in's building where they'd project the old movies, getting a Fat Man ready, then I saw her running from it.

There was a young woman, probably around mine and Piper's age, running for dear life. Terror was washed over her face - she was running so fast I'm surprised I was able to make out an expression. The girl was nearly a blur. I haven't seen that kind of horror in someone's eyes since...well.

"Hey! The entrance is here!" I yell as loud as I can to her, I pray she hears.  
The young woman gets closer to the walkway and I'm not confident she heard me, I jump down from the lowest roof point, and I hear Danse, "Ready to fire!"  
"Wait!" I can't let her be too close, she'll die, no doubt.  
I run out. I'm probably running faster than the day I faced one of these bastards with Nate.  
"Wait for what?! Firing in three.."  
"Don't!"  
She sees me running to her. Thankfully it's at least 15 feet away, Deacon had thrown a Nuka grenade buying us seconds, maybe a minute if we were lucky.  
"This is the door hurry!" I yell to her, she runs right past me, flying through the entrance. I don't fall back though.  
"…two.." I hear Danse.  
I shoot at the thing and I don't stop. I'm yelling obscenities, words I haven't used in years. It gets closer, throws rocks at me, almost pinning me to the ground before it can smash me to bits and eat my limbs. They do eat people, right? I'd be surprised if they didn't.  
"…one!" I run back as fast as I can, I have about 4 and a half seconds to get inside.  
I just pass through the door, duck and cover, and close my eyes. I hear it, I've heard mini nukes go off before but never so close. I feel debris, flying dust and dirt beating my back, legs and hands and all I can think of is if everyone else is far away enough, and how much radiation I'm taking…and if there will be a consequence for it.

After a few moments, I don't feel anything, I don't hear anything, and I can't open my eyes… 


	3. Mirelurk Cakes

I hear Curie singing along to the radio, I don't have to open my eyes to know that voice, but I do. I assume I'm at the medic station, lying in one of the three beds much more comfortable than my own. I should switch my mattress with this one once I get a chance.  
I almost don't want to look at my hands or arms - I'm freaking out. What if I was just close enough to eat up enough rads to…to turn into a ghoul? The thought of it sends chills down my spine, across my entire body.  
"Ah! Monsieur MacCready! Good morning - er, afternoon!" Curie turns around from the counter she had been at with a big smile, not in her usual jeans and raggedy flannel getup. She was sporting an old Vault-Tec lab coat.  
"Hey…what happened?" I ask, trying to go total tunnel vision on Curie's face, doing everything I can to shut off my peripheral. I seriously don't want to even catch a glimpse of my skin.  
"Well, you were very brave, Monsieur. You ran out to save Madame Emily's life from what everyone calls a _Behemoth_. I have never seen one before, it was terrifying. I took all these samples after it expired and-"  
I have to cut her off.  
"Hey, you're getting side tracked, doll".  
"So sorry, heh. I get so excited is all," she chuckles and takes a seat next to me.  
"After you took cover you passed out, it has only been a day. Paladin Danse rushed you over here and I already had set up an intravenous infusion of fluids and RadAway as soon as I heard their cries. What is running now is simply a hydration IV!"  
Great. So Tin Man had to be the one to carry me over his shoulder. I guess I can't give him a hard time anymore, at least not for a little while.  
"Did I take too much radiation? Am I a ghoul? Give it to me straight, Doc". I've already accepted the fact if I am a ghoul, I still have my personality.  
Curie bursts out laughing.  
"Oh, Mr. MacCready no, you are as handsome as ever! Do not worry. I have treated MUCH higher levels of radiation on our dear Nathan".  
As I let out the biggest sigh of relief, I hear a knock.  
"Come in, come in!" Curie smiles, I can't see who's at the door without turning around out of bed.  
Curie brings her over. The girl I saved.  
"Monsieur MacCready, this is Miss Emily! She's come to express her gratitude".  
She is no taller than Curie and has long, dark kempt hair. Her eyes are a beautiful blue grey and I do see gratitude in them.  
"MacCready?" She asks me, though she already knows. It takes a moment for me to find the words.  
"Uhhh - yeah. Yeah that's me". Of course that's me.  
"Thank you. Really I would have died if I didn't run this way. I ran past another nearby settlement and it looked empty. Thank you".  
"Hey don't thank me, it's my job. And Danse fired the mini nuke. You should thank him". I was coming off coarse although I didn't mean to. Was just stating facts.  
She furrowed her brows.  
"I mean, I did thank him, I thanked everyone. But you ran out and helped me. That was very brave. So again, thank you".  
She then gave me a wooden box. Inside was a pack of cigarettes, four Nuka Colas, and a couple of mirelurk cakes.  
"Thank you". I say, truly meaning it. But she had already left the medic station.  
I didn't mean to be so rigid, I just was.  
"Tsk tsk, monsieur" Curie took my box, put it on the counter on the other side of the room, and came back to me with a Nuka Cola that Emily had thanked me with.  
"What? I just woke up, I'm cranky in the morning". I took a big sip.  
"I suggest you apologize, she will be staying here, after all".  
I figured as much, Nate's probably got her harvesting corn already. I take another sip.  
"I didn't mean to be rude," I'm always polite. Curie knows that's not like me.  
"say, when can I get outta here? Not that I don't like hanging out with you and all".  
She goes red.  
"Mr. MacCready, I will suspend your IV and send you on your way," she smirks.  
"After you eat one of madame Emily's mirelurk cakes" she brings one over to me.  
I never was fond of mirelurk cakes and Curie knows it. Always left a weird taste in my mouth, haven't had one since that Vault Dweller brought some to Little Lamplight.  
"Give it here" I sigh.  
I take a bite and I chew.  
And chew.  
And chew.  
I don't hate it. I guess I've expanded my palate to these, Cram and soda. I'm a picky guy, what do you want?  
I finish my meal, and Curie sends me on my way.


	4. Apologies

I leave the medic station, the warm afternoon sun nearly blinded me. I carry the wooden box of thank you gifts Emily had given me back to my shack, thinking of what to say to her.  
I'm still kicking myself for coming off so coarse back there. All I can do is apologize now and promise her I'm not like that normally - not that she'll believe me but hey, I guess if that's the case I'll just have to show her.  
Before leaving home, I light a cigarette, grab one more Nuka Cola and my rifle.  
I open the door to find Nate ready to knock. I smile and outstretch my hand to receive his in a shake.  
"Aha, I almost thought you forgot about me! How's The Commonwealth been treating ya?" He grabs my hand and shakes it, but doesn't greet me with the same level of enthusiasm.  
"You're gonna take today off, Mac". He lets his grip go and I laugh.  
"I mean I kind of figured, being you got bolts and screws manning the post and the day's almost over". I take a drag of my smoke.  
"Are you okay? They told me you ran out to save the new girl, last time you saw a behemoth you ran away crying". He chuckles.  
"There's a difference between screaming and crying".  
"Yeah yeah. Are you okay though, you been alright here?" I can see genuine concern is his beady eyes. This is what I've been looking forward to, my friend to visit. Not a therapy session, no way. Just my friend to talk to.

I don't take the opportunity.  
"Before yesterday life's been pretty boring. When you gonna take me with you again? I'm dying to get back into action". I throw my cigarette butt on the ground and step on it like an ant.  
"It's dangerous in the city, Mac. I can't feel responsible for putting any of your lives at risk anymore. It's a pain in the ass, we're still up against what's left of the Institute".  
I laugh, I laugh louder than I ever have in my twenty three years.  
"Do you forget you took me with you? Do you not remember that, Nate?" I remember destroying the goddamn place by his side, and he doesn't want me to help take the leftovers? I'm almost insulted.  
"It's different now, MacCready. Not yet". Nate can see the disappointment all over my face, but I take a breath and light another smoke.  
"Listen, I get it. Just don't forget about me, I'm dying over here," I walk away towards where the little piece of farmland is, and turn around.  
"Don't forget!" I yell back to him, smiling.  
I'll just talk to him next time, whenever next time might be.

I lean over the picket fence that holds the mutfruit, tatoes and gourds galore.  
I have a quick look around for Emily, but I don't see her. Maybe she was behind the razorgrain.  
Before I can walk to the other side, I hear Deacon call for me.  
"You okay man?"  
Why does everyone think I'm not okay? I'm walking around and living just fine, like normal.  
"Yeah everything's..cool. Where's Nate got the new girl?"  
"She's at my place, waiting for me". He smirks and I can see my irritated expression through his reflective sunglasses. I guess I'm really not good at hiding my emotions.  
"Oooooookay I expected a laugh but that's cool. She's on her way over to the water station".  
"Thanks". I don't like that guy.  
I turn around to see her pumping out water into a metal bucket. I run over to help, not that she really needs it.  
"Here, I can carry those," I say to her with a friendly smile. She turns to me, scoffs and puts her hair up.  
"I don't need help, it's just water. Thanks, though." She takes the two buckets she filled by the handle and starts to walk away, I follow behind.  
"Listen, thank you for the mirelurk cakes and everything. They're really good". No response.  
"I'm sorry if I seemed rude back at the medic station before, I'm not usually like that. I was just really shook up, you know? I thought I took too many rads". I can see from where I am her cheeks rising, means she's smiling. She stops and turns to me.  
"It's okay. You helped save my life. I don't really know the proper thank you for something like that".  
I still didn't know the proper thank you for something like that either.  
"Yeah, me neither. Whatever it is, those cakes are pretty close to it". She keeps smiling.  
She had beautiful white teeth, the only other white smiles I've seen are Nate's and those people from Vault 81's. You do your best to stay hygienic but it's not the easiest thing, when life is like this. I applaud her.  
"Well, I should get back. I have more mirelurk cakes if you want."  
I light up and nod my head.  
"Stop by the bar after work's done, I'm staying upstairs until Nate can build me a place". She walks away and I count the minutes til I can meet her there.  
I mean, it's nice having a new face around.


	5. You a Chem Guy?

I sit in the bar at my usual spot, peeking over at the door every minute or so. Everyone gets off at about the same time. Besides Mose, the Mr. Handy who tends the bar, Piper is the only other one here. She is sitting at the right end of the bar, smoking and jotting down some notes. I'd have greeted her but I know she doesn't really like to be bothered when she's in the middle of writing.  
"Mr. MacCready". Hancock greets me and sits. He pulls out a container of Mentats.  
"You gotta do that now?" I'm not into chems, and he knows it.  
"Yeah. Makes me feel intellectual," Hancock pops two in his mouth and dry swallows. I shudder.  
"Gotta give that new broad the impression I know what I'm talkin' about." He stuffs the container back into his pocket. He knew she was coming?  
"So you've talked to her?"  
"Yeah, smart gal. Real sweet, kept thanking all of us for the other day. I didn't even know what happened during all that, I was at the top of the old movie screen balcony coming off a shitload of Jet." He whistles to Mose, orders us a bottle of whiskey for the table and four glasses.  
For a few minutes, we sip and smoke, then I see her come down the stairs on the other side of the room.  
I look down at the ashtray quickly, before we meet eyes. I look back up after a few seconds to see her walking over with a smile. I can feel how red my face is.  
Emily sits and Hancock says hello and pours her a drink. I can't find words. Why can't I find any goddamn words? Why didn't I pour her drink?  
I take a big gulp of my drink, it burns. I finish what's in my glass and I pour more.  
Hancock and Emily are having a casual conversation but I don't hear the words they're saying, I'm still blushing and focusing on my whiskey burnt throat. What's with me?  
She looks at me and I turn my hearing back on.  
"So I actually brought you another mirelurk cake". She rummages around in her beaten up bag and pulls one out, all wrapped up in parchment paper.  
"Oh, thank you, Emily". I accept it, almost forgetting she was going to give me more.  
"Don't mention it. I make really good molerat stew, too" she drinks her drink.  
"I do love a molerat stew." Hancock chimes in. Jesus, I see what the man's doing.  
"Last time you ate molerat you were on the toilet for almost two days, Hancock." Emily laughs and I feel confidence wash over me at Hancock's expense. He smiles and lights a smoke - that triggers me to pull out a cigarette. I guess it triggered Emily too.  
"Can I get a light?" She looks over to me, my matches in hand.  
Suck it, Hancock.  
I strike a match and she leans over to me, hand rolled cigarette between her lips.  
I bring the flame to it and she inhales, I catch her looking right at me, intensely.  
I pull away, blushing again.  
"Thanks" she smiles and exhales a cloud of smoke.  
Hancock shoots a jealous look at me, I turn to the right just a touch, lift my drink with my right hand and flip him the bird while I drink, inconspicuously.  
I didn't think Emily caught that but she might have, I see her looking down at the table smiling.  
"So you usually guard this place during the day?" She turns to me and rests her face in her hand, relaxing.  
"Uh, yeah. Yep. It's a boring job. Til you came around." I smirk and she turns to Hancock.  
"What about you?" She takes a drag.  
"Me? I ride the wave all day, girl."  
"What wave?" Emily furrows her brows. Hancock puts his drink down and pulls out a Jet inhaler.  
"You ever ride _this_ wave?" Ah. Great.  
"Yeah, once. Made me real nauseous." She pours another drink and Hancock puts his drugs away, defeated. Thank God.  
"You a chem guy?" She inquires, looking at me, twirling her whiskey.  
"Oh, no. I mean. One time I took a hit of Psycho but no."  
"Good, that junk is just that. Junk." She ashes her cigarette and pours.  
I look over at Hancock with a huge smile.  
A girl who doesn't do chems is NOT a girl for Hancock. He lifts his drink, purses his lips, and motions his glass towards me, almost saying "go ahead, it's all you" without moving his raisin textured lips.  
Now, I know what you're thinking.  
I'm not a guy looking for love, but Emily was something different.  
I don't really remember the last time I smiled so big and so much, though.


	6. The Balcony

I can't stop thinking about Emily at the bar last night, specifically her smile and the way she looked at me when I lit her cigarette. I've been so deep in thought all day I've caught myself just smiling out of the blue several times so far throughout this shift. I'm just glad no one's close enough to me to see it, cause it probably looks pretty weird.  
This day is never ending - the only thing I want to do is go over to the bar and drink with Emily.  
I'm literally counting all of the dead trees I see, starting to turn my attention away from the entrance to the settlement. Maybe I should at least face forward in case anything comes…  
I count twenty one trees and I hear a familiar voice behind me, I immediately perk up.  
"Hey, you." Emily comes up behind me, I turn around with a smile.  
"What are you doing over here?" I step down from my guard post.  
"Shifts are about to be over, I snuck out of the garden a few minutes early to see you." My heart flutters and I'm red all over, just like last night. I laugh nervously.  
"You uh, wanna go over to the bar when I get off?" I'm flustered as Hell, jeez.  
"Yeah, but can we maybe not sit near Deacon? That guy's been hanging too close to me all day, he rubs me the wrong way." Emily crosses her arms. Hah, this makes me feel even better.  
"Don't even worry, the guy's a total mungo. I steer clear of his path as often as I can."  
Just then, the bell is rung, means work is over for the day. I turn my safety on, and sling my rifle around my back. Emily and I start walking over to the bar, taking our time.  
"So, what's your story?" She asks me, kicking dirt each step she takes.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Like…how did you end up here? Helping Nate? You seem like the kind of guy who's usually in action." If only she knew. I take a deep breath.  
I tell her it all, just how I told Nate last year. From being the mayor of Little Lamplight, to my run with the gunners, hesitantly telling her all the need to know facts about Lucy and Duncan, ending with everything that man has done for me.  
"So, yeah. After Nate destroyed the Institute, we all settled down here. It's not like we don't have anywhere else to go, but it's good company here. And it's a home, and a job."  
Emily's eyes are wide and she stops. I know she's about to tell me how sorry she is, about Lucy and Duncan. I don't want to hear it though, it only upsets me. She looks at me and gently grabs my arm.  
"I'm sorry," she lets go. "I won't ask any more and you don't have to tell me more." She looks away and continues walking.  
That was…..a nice change of pace. Jesus Christ, Nate just kept asking me questions. Not prying, but that conversation went on a lot longer than I think it should have. It was nice not to have someone ask twenty questions for once, ya know?  
I want the subject changed, I feel a short exchange of awkward silence.  
"Wait, Emily," she turns to me, squinting. The setting sun nearly blinds her, she lifts a hands to her pale face, blocking the sun from her eyes.  
"What if we don't go to the bar?" she tilts her head, confused.  
"I've got drink, what if I go grab it and we head to the screen's balcony?" No one ever heads up there except sometimes Hancock and Strong.  
"Hmm.."  
"Deacon definitely will not be there, or in your vicinity." She smiles big and tells me she'll meet me up there.

After I grab a bottle of vodka from a shelf at home and two old coffee cups I've never used, I climb the stairs all the way to the top of the old movie screen.  
Emily is sitting on one of the lawn chairs towards the end of the balcony, staring off. The sun is just starting to set, and her beautiful dark hair blows back with the wind, exposing her strong cheekbones and soft jaw line. I catch myself staring when she looks over at me - I shake it off and sit in the chair next to hers.  
Okay, I'm not gonna screw up this time. I pour Emily's drink first, filling the coffee cup halfway with the spirit. She waits for me, I go to take a sip.  
"Stop!" she shouts, but with a smile. I almost choke on it, spitting it back into my cup.  
"What, what?" I say, trying not to be annoyed. Really, when I look at her, how could I be?  
"Just - cheers. To my new start, and meeting you." She raises her cup and grins at me.  
I clink my coffee mug against hers and we continue to drink.  
"Alright, what about you, then?" I ask her.  
"What about me, MacCready?" she leans back, crossing her leg over the other, and holds her drink with two hands, relaxing.  
My name coming out of her mouth, the sweet sound sends a chill down my spine I've never felt before and twists my guts around. Again, I feel myself go fuc-freaking red all over. She's gotta stop doing that to me.  
"I told you my story, you owe me yours." Emily puts her mug down on the floor next to her, and leans towards me.  
"That's something I don't think I'm ready to tell you yet," she sucks her teeth and then purses her lips.  
"I'm sorry, Mac. In good time." She picks her drink back up and finishes what's left, then pours another.  
I don't get mad but I get…confused. I just told her my tragic story but I don't get hers? I don't mean it like this but…if it's not as bad or worse than mine I'm going to feel like an idiot. Did that mean I didn't have to tell her about Duncan and Lucy? That's not fair but, I won't crucify her for it. There was something sort of therapeutic about telling my story. I hardly talk to anyone anymore, after all.  
"That's fine…whatever you're comfortable with." That's all I can say, and she looks away from me and smirks.  
"Thank you." Emily says it softly, staring at the skyline.  
"For what?"  
"Not prying, not…" she starts shaking her head.  
"Not making me tell you anything right now."  
I look away and sip.  
"Like I said, whatever makes you comfortable." We share a moment of silence, but this time it's not awkward, it's accepting and comfortable. Says a lot about a person when you can share comfortable silence.  
I look over at her and she keeps staring at the skyline.  
"It's really beautiful from up here." she says, pushing her hair behind her ear. I don't look away from her.  
"Yeah, it is." I couldn't give a damn about the sunset when I was sitting next to her. She has this ethereal beauty where you can't really look away. It sucks you in, hypnotizes you. Traps you.  
"Wanna hear a joke?" I ask her, pouring myself another drink.  
"Sure."  
"It's about this super mutant who wondered why a rock kept getting bigger," she looks at me, brows furrowed, looking confused.  
"Then it hit him." I chuckle and Emily bursts out in a giggle. That was a sound that after tonight, I promised myself I'd get used to. 


	7. Grognak

Today's my day off. I usually sleep most of the day, then drink the rest of it. Today has to be different, maybe I'll help out with the gardening.  
I sling my rifle over my shoulder and walk outside and over to where Emily works, smoking on the way. It had to be late morning, judging by the positioning of the sun and shadows.  
I reach the fence that holds our precious crops and have a look around for Emily, I don't see her. I turn my head over to where the water purifier is, squinting to see if she's over there.  
She isn't.  
"Hey, Cait" I call to her, she's on the other side husking some corn. She looks up at me, hands still stripping the corn.  
"Whaddaya want, pretty boy?"  
"Have you seen Em around?" Her name sounds sweet coming out of my mouth, like candy. Cait smirks, continuing her job.  
"Ooh, Cait! Where's Emmy?" She mocks me in a high pitched voice, teasing me. It doesn't bother me, not in the slightest. I just look at her and I can't help but grin from ear to ear.  
"She's off today, Mac. Prob'ly still asleep, that's where I wish I was." She was off? Did Nate plan that, was it an act of God or am I on a lucky streak? Whatever it was that made that work it didn't matter, I didn't care.  
"Thanks, doll." I walk away over to the bar where Emily is staying. It can't be much longer until Nate's finished building her own little shack, I won't be surprised if she's sleeping there tonight.

I reach the little upstairs area where Nate and Mose rent out rooms. There's only three of them, and two of the doors are open. I walk over to the only closed door and knock.  
Nothing.  
I wait a moment and knock again. If she doesn't answer, she's sleeping or she's not there - I'd let her rest.  
I knock once more and wait. I count in my head, once I reach thirty, I'll leave.  
Six…seven…eight…  
"One second" I hear her muffled through the door.  
Emily opens up, only slightly. She looks very tired, her chestnut brown hair is messy, but still voluminous and silky-looking. She was wearing a very large, very oversized shirt and a pair of old socks with some holes in them. She meets my gaze and she smiles so big, it's like upon opening the door she was shades of grey, and after seeing I was the one to give her the wake up call I'm staring at a bright rainbow for the first time. Yeah, I've never seen a rainbow but I imagine that's exactly what it's like - pure joy.  
She opens the door wider and invites me in.  
You already know I'm blushing again, I don't even have to say it.  
"I just had the day off and I was gonna help you out in the garden." I take my hat off and brush my greasy brown hair back. Emily crosses her arms and smirks.  
"Lucky you, I have off too."  
You know in those super old cartoons where the guy is sweating, gulps really big and has to air out his shirt by pulling his collar? That was me in the inside at this exact moment.  
"What did you wanna do today?" I put my hat back on and sit in the rusty chair in the corner, not the couch. She has things on the couch I didn't want to move, I wasn't sure if she'd be okay with me touching her things.  
"Well, what do you do on days off?" She grabs a little comb she left on the end table and starts straightening her hair out with it, still looking at me with her gorgeous, big blue eyes.  
"I uh, I'm still usually sleeping now. I wake up late, go to the bar, then turn in early". It was true, that was a normal day off, sleep then drink myself nearly blind. I don't think she'd want to do that, it's not fun. It's just something to do.  
"Are you tired?" She puts her hair up and sits at the edge of her bed, crossing her legs.  
I was, but I didn't want to go back to sleep, I wanted to spend time with her. Who knows if we'll ever get the same day off again.  
"No, not really."  
"Okay, well Nate told me my house would be done this afternoon. Do you want to go over with me?"  
"Yes." I immediately agree and stand up, she chuckles.  
"All right, let me get dressed." She grabs her pants off the floor and I start to leave, to give her privacy. Did you think I'd stay? I'm not a perv, man.  
"You can just turn around." She let me stay in the room while she undressed, but I was still a little uncomfortable.  
Okay, I mean, yeah. But I don't want her to think that. I don't want her to think I wanna sleep with her - I do. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my goddamn eyes on and she flips my guts upside down and all around. I don't wanna be an asshole, though.  
"It's okay, Emily, I can wait outside the door,"  
"No it's okay, I'm almost done"  
I look up at the ceiling because just the thought of her undressing, and her skin, and her legs..  
I start thinking about the last Grognak comic I read, I think as hard as I can about it - then she taps on my shoulder.  
I turn around and she's dressed in old ripped jeans and leather armor, and has a magnum revolver holstered.  
I notice on the top bunk of her bed several magazine clips and ammo boxes, including what looked like a modded assault rifle.  
Why was this chick packing - she wasn't shooting at the behemoth the other day? Given, if this is all she's got, they wouldn't have done any good against that bastard anyways.  
There was something about it I really liked, a girl with guns.  
She caught me staring, and looked back at it.  
"That's Benny," she walked over, grabbed it, unloaded it and handed it to me.  
"Benny? Don't people usually name guns and ships and things after women?" I ask, inspecting it.  
She was silent for a moment.  
"This one's special," She takes it back, loads a magazine and slings it. "We going?"  
I open the door for her and follow her out of the building.

We're almost to Emily's soon-to-be home, and I'm still thinking about Benny.  
"So, why's Benny special?" I asked. I look over and she's lighting a smoke, she flicks the used match to the dry ground., the smell of sulfur fills my nose for a minute,  
After taking a few drags, she tells me - although she's incredibly vague.  
"Cause Benny was the first person." She continues walking alongside me, puffing her smoke.  
"First person?"  
"Yeah, the first person I killed," She said it very matter-of-fact-ly.  
"And the rifle is what I used." Sweet Emily - beautiful Em, murdering a guy with an AK-112? The blood left my face and started to move….southern. I didn't say a word, I just thought of Grognak again and tuned her out before it was too late. Why did I like that? I never thought that would have done it but the thought of it sure did, jeez.  
I change the subject, because I can tell she doesn't want to tell me too much about it.  
"You know, are you hungry? Do you want lunch?" I stop walking. I could take her back to the bar, Mose cooks up some food every morning.  
"Sure, I haven't eaten yet." She turns around, smiles at me and we start to retrace our steps.  
I have to learn more about Benny, but I can't pry. Will she kill me with her revolver and name it Rj? Nah, I still wanna know though. 


	8. Beer and Deathclaw

**NOTE:** **To the few people who have been reading this: thank you! I've had a crazy 2 weeks, specifically leading up to Bethesda's E3 Showcase just because my mind has been so scattered and all of the speculation was literally driving me insane. I'll do my best to write** ** _at least_** **a 1000 word chapter every 2-3 days but thank you to those of you who come back to read! It makes me smile and fills my heart when I look at the traffic stats. Follow me on IG: cazadorqueen xx**

We sit at one of the several open tables in the bar, we've got it to ourselves it seems. I made it a point to pull her chair out for her, all gentleman like.  
"Ah, hello Miss Emily! And… " Mose wanders over, greeting me with a bit of hesitation. I didn't think the bot liked me too much, on my days off I do get rowdy in here. Super enthusiastic about Emily though, how could anyone not be - even a robot?  
"Two beers and we will share…" I look over to her as a go ahead, I wanted her to get whatever she wanted, even if I freaking HATED it. She smiles and leans forward.  
"Have you ever had Deathclaw steak?" Emily makes my stomach turn in a good way, the sound of eating grilled mutated lizard makes it turn in an awful way.  
"N-no, I haven't," she gapes her mouth and politely asks Mose for a Deathclaw steak, rare. RARE. She wants to eat this thing almost RAW I want to UPCHUCK. I keep cool on the outside.  
We sit, waiting for our meal, I have to come clean, I should have said no.  
"Listen, Deathclaw doesn't sound too…appetizing" Emily grabs my hands in hers. They're so soft, but cold. I was being grabbed by a beautiful ice cube. No, she had really cold hands, that's a circulation issue.  
"I found out you never would have eaten Mirelurk either and you loved those cakes I made, right?" she tilts her head and my gaze shifts…she was right. I still didn't wanna eat this goddamn lizard though.  
"I didn't think I'd like it, I tried it when I was over in Utah, so good. You'll love it, just try it"  
After several minutes of Emily insisting I would LOVE this Deathclaw steak, Mose comes back with two plates, half of what's gotta be the nasty lizard on each.  
The plates, beers and silverware are placed in front of us, and I take a deep breath.  
"Enjoy your meal, lovebirds!" Wow, even a Mr. Handy isn't blind to it, I didn't care enough right now, I had to at least try this heap of trash in front of me.  
Emily starts cutting hers up, it's cute how excited she is for this. I just watch her put the first strip of lizard in her mouth and I cringe a bit, then she tilts her head back and rolls her eyes.  
"This is sooo good" She says while delicately chewing, face still towards the ceiling.  
I take a few swigs of my beer and she comments on the fact that I still haven't picked up my knife and fork.  
"What's the worst that's going to happen? If you hate it, spit it out and give me the rest. It's not gonna go to waste, I can tell you that" she laughs and eats another piece of meat.  
I close my eyes, sigh, and start cutting all of it at once. I'm opening my mind, I'm trying to remember what she said about the Mirelurk cakes - which really were so freaking great. I'm trying to motivate myself and Emily is nearly halfway done. I suck it up, stick it in my mouth and chew.  
It was…really awesome. It was beefy, slightly fish-like and a little rough, but it was so juicy. It has a real strange smokey aftertaste. I ate piece after piece, not even acknowledging the goddess in front of me.  
I finally come up for air and some beer after a few minutes and Emily is just smiling at me. Did I have food on my face?  
"Mmm?" I ask, meaning "what?" because I'm still chewing Deathclaw.  
"No no, nothing I'm just glad you like it, now I know what to make you besides Mirelurk cakes" she places her silverware onto her plate and finishes her beer.  
I swallow what I've got in my mouth.  
"Yeah, yeah you were right, this is pretty amazing" I finish what's on my plate and Emily orders us two more brews.  
Mose clears our tables, leaves our beers and the bill. I go to grab it but Emily is quicker than me.  
"Uh, what are you doing there, girl?" my masculinity is being threatened, yes, but I didn't want her to spend caps on our meal, it's not gentleman-like. Emily chuckles and throws her head back.  
"Trust me, Rj, when you see how much this steak is you'll shit your pants, keep your money. I've got plenty, I promise" I wasn't taking any excuses, it didn't matter, I had money, too.  
I grabbed the makeshift bill from in front of her and walked up to Mose at the counter, readying my bag to get my caps out.  
"That'll be one hundred and twenty caps, sir" One HUNDRED- one HUNDRED and twenty oh my fuckin' God.  
I have the money on me but over a hundred caps for a steak?  
I open my bag and start counting, I get just past fifty and Emily comes next to me, slams a fistful of caps onto the counter.  
"Thank you, Mose" she says sweetly, and I hear her walk out the door. I look at him, wide eyed.  
"That'll cover it, Mr. MacCready, thank you"  
I run out the door to find Emily and…apologize? I don't know this is a weird scenario. I look around for a second and then I hear her behind me.  
"Seriously, I've got more caps than anyone can count, I could have paid no problem. I'm the one who picked the expensive meal" I turn to her, she puffs on a freshly-lit cigarette.  
"It's not right to let the lady pay, especially, like," I was going to say something along the lines of 'especially when I've taken an interest in you' but the words aren't ready to pass my lips. The silence doesn't last long after I stop myself, she steps very close to me, still with an annoyed look washing over her face.  
"Especially, like, when it's considered a date?" Yes, red. Red as hell, all over.  
"Uhhhh.." Yeah, dumbstruck. Emily's attitude fades quickly when she realizes just how flustered I am, she strokes my arm.  
"Let's go check on Nate" she almost skips away, that's how much pep this girl's got in her step.  
My insides feel like putty. Did she have as much money as she lets on? She was just willing to spend over one hundred caps on a hunk of meat (delicious meat, yes, but still), what else would she nearly throw away money on?

Utah? 


End file.
